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    July 04

    郁闷

    在空间里写心情的时候,总会想会有那些人看到,他们会有什么想法,想来想去就不敢多言,深怕吐露出不好的措辞来,让人心生厌烦--啊,这人居然是这样的!想起来很可怕。更怕有人知道我的真实想法,我隐藏的包裹的内心。也许人人都是那么想的,我不是个例外。我是个敏感的人,我在别人的想法里到底是怎样,总能第一时间感觉出来,也许会错,但多数情况下是正确的。和我做朋友的人一定是喜欢我的人,不喜欢或讨厌我的人,我一定不会去主动接近的,除非万不得已。所以我的朋友不多,有的也未必长久,就是因为我的敏感,不原谅与不牵就。现在我不再是小孩子,不再是处于学生时代,言不由衷,身不由己都屡屡发生。我不会因为讨厌一个人就和他自始至中几年不说话,也不会因为别人的不喜欢而拒之千里。因为要生存,仅此而已。这是我学生时代的固执己见错过的学习内容,我依然孤独,依然寂寞。不知道是找个东西来沉迷其中,还是就此沉沦下去。

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